It's not them, it is me. Truly.
In all cases, when I see something that I find aggravating, I can find the same issues within my own practice.
It is a pain having to always watch myself. To always be checking to see if I am screwing up somehow. Then, I turned 40 and said so what? That was liberating.
Now, I am backtracking a bit to see where I did things that I wanted to do by choice rather than by situational outcomes that just sort of "happened." Ugh. Do I need to do this? No. So, why am I?
Why not just dance and sing and admire the flowers all day long?
Somewhere inside me the same issues keep coming back up and I would like to unpack the baggage and look at it one last time before tossing it overboard. Some bags are already gone. What bags? Some things... double ugh.
I pretty much have an answer for everything.
Perhaps this is why I am annoying. There are many reasons, I am sure, and I don't really care much anymore.
I just would like to talk to someone aside from my own wayward self sometimes. And it is crickets in my home... Crickets.
Well, working on it.
This book I am reading now "Carry On Warrior, Thoughts On Life Unarmed" has far too many sections with undeniuably resonate with me. Ugh. (how many uggghs is that?)
I highly recommend reading.
Dear Future Me: keep reading.