mountain dreaming

I have an idea.
a certain set of thoughts that gets stuck, looping, around in my head that I am not able to shake clear without consideration.
I love the idea.

I am in strawberry.
making it work.
it is hard work and i need some hard work.
i need to fix problems that arise and make things beautiful.
i need to draw a crowd of people and learn from them - hear their stories - and create my own.,

the opportunity of summer is looming and I feel like I must go there from day 1 through as long as possible.

although my favorite time would be summer turning into the new year, i will take what i can get.

how to again push away what i long for?
again to crumple up a dream?

it isn't like we are living a dream for any other - my spouse does not seem to have a dream except not working and that is just preposterous.

so, what to do?
go to pilates.
that is something that strawberry wont have.
without me making it.
go and be here and love it while you are here.
who knows how long there is amongst this beauty?


sounds and feeling

and echoing
and taking up all the space that the dream was inside my head,
that lucid space
the swiss cheese holes they filled with music
and then became
all consumed
by it

and then i cried
for a moment
and then i spoke.
taking me as more important
for i would die
by my own hand
if i didn't get this bit down.